There's always something a little sacred about the beginning of a new year. It's honestly one of my favorite times of the year. I get a new planner. It's the perfect time to start new routines. Life reverts back to a blank slate and there's so much hope on the horizon. I clearly remember how I felt this time last year moving from 2019 to 2020. I loved the symbolism of 2020 and perfect vision and boy did I have a vision for the upcoming year. I, like so many others, had goals that I was going to crush. This was my year!
But then 2020 actually started and events began that made us shake our heads and start asking questions. Eventually the year became a comedy of errors and I was more shocked when something unusual, heart breaking, uncomfortable, life-changing, or just plain weird DIDN'T happen. This past year will forever be lodged in our hearts as painful and unforgettable in spite of how much we wish we could forget. Despite the dumpster fire that was 2020, I did learn some valuable lessons that I will carry through to 2021.
1. My career is NOT my identity. I love being a teacher and I love the creating and problem solving that goes along with it. But when we were quarantined and my job drastically changed, I was left floundering. I no longer had a routine to keep me focused. I no longer had the daily push and pull with students to keep my mind engaged. I no longer had adult conversations. When that was stripped away I was left with....what? I wasn't sure, but I went on a journey to find out. And what I found is my career is just a small portion of who I am. I'm also a wife, mother, friend, daughter, writer, child of God. And all of those parts needed attention and growth as well. At the end of the day, I am still me when the job looks different.
2. My time with family is precious even if they drive me crazy. I'll admit when everything shut down, I was a little excited. I'm a homebody at heart and I was starting to realize just how busy we all were. So I welcomed the break as a time to slow down and reconnect. I will also admit that two months in I wasn't quite as excited about extended family time and yes, we were driving each other crazy. But as we close this year, I look back and cherish that time we had together. I hope my kids remember it as a time of family, not fear. I hope they remember the games we played, books we read, and brownies we baked. Because ultimately that's the only thing that matters and it's not promised from day to day.
3. Gratitude can exist in the smallest and most unusual of places. I will forever be grateful for the little things. Walking in a store without a mask. Hugging a friend I haven't seen in a while. Eating in a restaurant. Doing anything without hand sanitizer. 2020 taught me we can't wait for something big in order to practice gratitude. We have to seek it in the small daily routines.
4. Mental health must be a priority...for everyone. One result of extended quarantine was an increase in my anxiety. It manifested itself in the most unusual moments and its onset was unexpected. I had to quickly find ways to cope and keep it under control. I realized that it was crucial for me to model strategies for taking care of my own mental health because I have my children plus my students watching and learning how to handle their own emotions. Adults are not the only ones dealing with mental health issues and I've had to take a closer look at my own practices. For too long mental health has taken a backseat to...well pretty much everything. It's time to change that.
5. You have permission to slow down. It's okay to not get the to-do list done. It's when we slow down that we notice the people around us. That we nurture those relationships. That we focus on the small things and grow in gratitude. We quickly learned that planning ahead was futile. There was no need for that shiny new planner. Just about the time we planned, the rules changed and things got cancelled. So while we fought and grumbled, we were forced to slow down. And how beautiful it's been. Focusing on only the next moment led me to a new appreciation of the blessings I have been given.
6. Kindness goes a long way. I don't know, but I imagine your social media feeds looked a lot like mine. Both sides of the political spectrum were slinging conspiracy theories, accusations, and hate. I couldn't log on without being bombarded with posts that could only divide, not unite. I saw opinions being thrown out without thought (or care) to how it would be received. Civil discourse went out the window and suddenly there was no longer the option of moderation. Everyday we have the choice of what we consume and what we put out into the world. I guarantee that kindness will go farther every single time. We all want to feel seen and heard. We all want reassurance. We all want to feel united. And the only way that will happen is through considering others' needs and making kindness a priority.
7. God is still in control. It's easy to feel as though our lives are spiraling. That we are no longer in control as decisions are being made by politicians; as things happen that don't make sense. But the one constant truth is that God's got this. He knows yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He sees the whole picture. One of the most comforting things for me is to know that as soon as I make a move, God knows all of the effects. He knows everything that happens next. And not just in the next hour or day or week, but for eternity. We cannot see all the pieces of this puzzle that was 2020, but God does. And he loves us enough to work it all out for good.
I don't know what 2020 brought you and your family. As the popular saying goes, we were all in the same storm, but different boats. Some experienced more heartache than others. Some experienced more joy than others. Whatever your situation, I hope you can walk away with something to carry into 2021. While I may not look back on 2020 with fondness -- honestly can anyone do that? -- I can say thank you for the lessons I learned and the perspective I've gained.
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