I love teaching! In fact, I have been accused of being a workaholic...and it's probably true. I also LOVE being a mom and spending time with my two little ones. However, most days being a mom and a teacher doesn't leave much time for anything else...especially a personal hobby or passion. So for the last few years, I've chosen to ignore the things that feed my soul. I have taken the things that don't center around my family and my job and buried them down deep under daily lists and the "have-to's". The funny thing about passion though is it never truly leaves you. You can do what I did and hide it deep under the day to day tasks so you momentarily forget about it. You can pile on the things that must get done so that there's no time to focus on what drives you and fuels your soul. You can convince yourself that the "hobby" isn't important and your to-do list carries your worth. Unfortunately, that has been story of my life for too long.
But the truth is, no matter how deep you bury it and how much you ignore it, the desire to do something beyond yourself and your job will always reappear. It may come back in small whispers -- a quiet longing to do more. Or it may come back a full force that knocks you off your feet. This year has brought an intense desire for me to return to my passion and it's come in both the whispers and the driving force. Don't get me wrong; I love my job and you'll hear a lot about my classroom in upcoming posts. But this year has helped put a lot of things into perspective -- the main one being that I need to return to who I am outside of mom, teacher, and wife. Which means I need to listen more closely to the whispers and lean into the nudgings and longings.
There is a piano sitting in my house that hasn't been played for at least a year. I used to love to play, but now; there's no time, it's not tuned, the kids won't let me, and so the excuses continue. But tonight, I couldn't ignore the urge to sit on that bench, so I pulled out a Christmas songbook and just started to play. And it felt so good! Yes, there were some wrong notes and clumsy fingers, but none of that mattered when I remembered this was, and is, a place of joy.
On the other side, I have had this gentle nudge to write for years. It's always been a place I go to process when things get too heavy, though not consistently. I thought for a long time I would write a book. And who knows? Maybe I still will one day. But for now, I'm excited to share this new endeavor. I'm excited to share ideas from my classroom, stories from our home, and tips for juggling it all.
See I've spent years ignoring the whispers to write. I pushed it down, convinced myself it didn't matter and wasn't important. That's the funny thing about passion; the flipside usually contains fear and uncertainty. Fear that I'm not good enough to pursue this. I don't know enough or have the experience. No one wants to hear me play or read my thoughts. Someone has already said it and done it.
But then I realized -- I'm not doing it for anyone else. This is for me. For my own growth and happiness. And if that brings pleasure to someone else along the way, then that's an added bonus. There's a misconception that, in order to pursue a passion, you have to be good at it. The truth is, you just have to love it.
So I challenge you to listen to that voice. What passion have you been ignoring? Take some time and focus on what feeds your soul and makes you happy. It can be big or small, unusual or mundane, new or familiar. There are no rules or restrictions; just what speaks to you. Identify it and then go and pursue it!
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